Fuck You Texas

Fuck You Texas is a song originally created by Weird Wilbur and later posted on YouTube besmirching Texas. It was used on the True Capitalist Radio broadcast to troll Ghost, especially during the summer of 2011. The song quickly became a form of chain-call trolling, similar to Helen Keller Deaf Mutes and Ban All Bronies. Multiple callers were amassed, and they all began to play the song.

Ghost, like many from Texas, is proud of his state and his heritage, and takes great offence to any insult or besmirching of what he calls "The Greatest State in the Union, if not the world!" This led to the song being spammed during Radio Graffiti. A video uploaded to YouTube by DarkRazorZ of the Radio Graffiti segment in Episode 111 featured this song being played by numerous callers, and Ghost getting annoyed over them. The video instantly became popular after being posted on Reddit, funnyJunk, and other sites, and many newfags often call up playing the song. The song began to be overused by newfags to the point where Ghost stopped reacting to it as much as he did in June. In Episode 199, Ghost even sang part of it when it was played in a call.

After years of being considered the embodiment of newfaggotry, Fuck You Texas made a surprise comeback in Episode 292 and managed to piss off Ghost several times, due in part to it being the five-year anniversary of the original chain call in Episode 111. After the 3rd call, Ghost paused Radio Graffiti to proclaimed that he knew why the trolls were using this song. In total, there were 11 calls, with call #11 being the last call of the after show. Ghost wasn't amused at all, especially since a Texan number was part of the chain call.

The song made another comeback on Episode 414, with chain calls started by the Ukrainian caller formerly known as the African Booty Scratcher, and has once again pissed off Ghost. That show even ended with a Christmas version of it, which Ghost mistook for "circus-sideshow" music.

The song made another appearance on Saturday Night Show Episode 10, where it was played during Radio Graffiti. Because this was the last episode before The Break, it brought the show full circle and, for a few months, created the amusing implication that years of Fuck You Texas might have finally driven Ghost off the Internet for good. However, Ghost remained on Gab until Halloween 2017 and eventually returned to the show, making said implication for naught.

On Episode 577, a caller on an Obamaphone played the song, with Ghost asking if it was like 2009-2010.

The song made its return on The Ghost Show, and it has been mostly successful in pissing off Ghost.

Lyrics

Think 'bout a place that's hot as hell
'Bout drier than the bottom of a dried-out well
And I think ya know what Texas means to me
Ain't got no money, ain't got no jobs
The banks are all too poor to rob
And I'd like to say one thing 'fore I leave

Fuck you, Texas, and fuck your Lone Star Beer.
Fuck that fucking Alamo, and fuckin' long-horned steer.
Fuck every Dallas cowboy, that ever draw'd a breath
Fuck you, Texas, and fuck you plumb to death!

I work'd my fingers to the bone
But I knowed I wrote some pretty good songs
'Til I drew the wrath of the Texas LCB
They jerked my tunes off the honky-tonk
With a bullshit list of 'do's and 'don't's
They lock'd 'em up, and throw'd away the key.

Well, fuck you, Texas, and fuck your Lone Star Beer.
Fuck that fucking Alamo, and fuckin' long-horned steer.
Fuck every Dallas cowboy, that ever draw'd a breath
Fuck you, Texas, and fuck you plumb to death!

Well, I'm headed for the border line
Anyplace else'll be just fine
As long as there's a job and a decent place to sleep
Get up each mornin' with my ass-a-flexin'
And give birth to yet another Texan
And write a song as he slips between my cheeks!

So, fuck you, Texas, and fuck your Lone Star Beer.
Fuck that fucking Alamo, and fuckin' long-horned steer.
Fuck every Dallas cowboy, that ever draw'd a breath
Fuck you, Texas, and fuck you plumb to death!

Fuck you, Texas, and fuck your Lone Star Beer.
Fuck that fucking Alamo, and fuckin' long-horned steer.
Fuck every Dallas cowboy, that ever draw'd a breath
Fuck you, Texas, and fuck you plumb to death!